fleeee

you grow up thinking one thing but later down the road you find out other things. The lies, the mistakes and the truth. I really don't want to grow up to be anything like these people but this is what I see and this is what I know. Undecided, lost, irresponsible adults who do everything I don't want to take part of. I see their lives and I get scared to death to live mine because I don't want to live if my life ends up remotely like that. There's a lot of resent towards them. Nothing can fix it. I can't erase my memory. It would be slightly disgusting to accept the reality of it all right now. I'm not ready. On to another thing over consuming my mind, everyones fleeing. I have friends going to Queens, York, Mcgill, Emily Carr, Concordia, Ryerson. Good for them. Everyones leaving and moving on with their lives making something of themselves even if they're not sure how to or what to do. Me on the other hand. Absolutely nothing. However, that's what I wanted. Nothing. I didn't want any commitment or any schooling for a while. But it's only because I'm deathly afraid and the most uncertain/lost person in the world. I can't just spontaneously do certain things like move somewhere or something. It's easier said than done. My best friend is leaving too. It's hard because I wish I put in a ton more effort the past year to see her because now she'll be going. I don't know sometimes ... I'm bummed out, its really tough.