newborn hippy

lasagna

2011-11-21T12:19:00.004-08:00

urban outfitters girls!

I can't win certain situations, I wish I wasn't the way I was about certain things. I can't give away my feelings free willingly. I want my ambitions to come first. I feel like relationships hold each other back. I feel like the best version of myself when I'm single because I'm full of desire and ideas. I'm having a difficult time embracing some great things that have recently come into my life. But my instincts are telling me to diminish them. Now I have to worry about how someone else feels all over again. I care but now I'm holding back. I keep telling myself theres nothing to worry about but it's still a major risk. It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes. I'm human after all. I'll break your heart 20 times, its a vicious cycle. Temptation is my biggest weakness and adventure is my drug. I'm surrounded by both 24/7. I created it and its a reoccurring event that life throws at me. I do things without realizing half the time, everyone just falls for it. It's not even bullshit. I really feel alone when it comes to this but it makes me feel like I can anything. And I will do anything, because I'm fantastic at it. I don't even have to lift a finger. I want to move to whistler next november!

add my facebook to talk or any shit: www.facebook.com/newbornhippy

french

2011-10-17T10:35:00.003-07:00

I think I'm easily convinced and persuaded. By others and myself even. So now I'm starting to convince myself about simplicity. I want to enjoy everything. I need to pleasure myself and enjoy my time and days. I wouldn't mind a glass of wine, a pastry even. Why not? It's something to look forward to. A bath, bundle up and walk around. Embrace the cold even! I hate winter. Moderation is on my mind. Everything in moderation witch relates to balance which I've talk about before as to being one of the keys in life. I'm basically really embracing my french culture. They aren't worrisome, very relaxed and the morals are there. It's slightly old fashion but it works. So when the shit hits the fan well.. C'est la vie !

lex

2011-10-07T11:46:00.005-07:00

I live my life the way I want it to be. I don't know much about smart choices, but im making all my choices with confidence at least. I'm having fun, im working at urban outfitters, putting money aside. Constantly thinking about my future with a positive outlook for the most part. Enjoying my life so I don't get to 40 years old having a mental break down wishing i did things differently. This year is ending immaculately well. I'm really not looking for a relationship. It holds me back. I like to do whatever I want. I'm not seeking love, I don't need it. I'm super busy but it gets all the ideas flowing. I'm constantly wanting to better myself. I feel good about myself but I want more. If I'm not moving up I get agitated. I live by high standards, and that may not be the life that YOU choose, however it's what gets ME going. I settle for the very best. Cut out the bullshit. I really don't have time for it. I seek respect. I hope my friends and family respect me because I deserve it and I constantly think about them. Not everyone is on my level, but this is me. I'm different now. Summer was amazing and ive continued it during this fall so far. There's been some conflicts of course but they're being dealt with in the best possible way. My mindset has had a make over over the past few months. All I really have to say is simplicity isn't for me.

everything

2011-08-15T02:04:00.006-07:00

Miserable I'll never be, ungrateful perhaps because I am arrogant. Unsatisfied, always because I feel the need to be better. Unsure because I want whatever is best. Clueless because I think I know everything. Not giving a fuck because it hurts to care and be let down. I think I finally know what I'm afraid of and knowing that, a few things make sense now. I'm really getting a sense of who I am these days and I quite like that person. It is really sort of exciting waking up and being me. I feel like I can do no wrong a lot of the times, yet I'm well aware of wrongful things that I am repeatedly doing. I may continue them, I may not. I'm not too concerned. If they end up mistakes then so be it. I remember times where I wasn't looking out for myself because I was too busy looking out for someone else and I lost track of everything. I'm so sickened by it because I lost everything it felt like. But I'm free now and that's what matters. I can have anything I want. I want everything.

july 24th

2011-07-24T21:25:00.003-07:00

Sometimes people just come into your life unexpected, and I'm most definitely embracing it. Although the only issue is I'm fearful for a time that they may no longer be in my life. For the first time in a little while I'm actually scared. I'm scared that something could happen and I'm scared that I may not be okay if something happened. I guess it means I care right? It's just pretty new to me because I rarely do. If someone manages to hurt me I will be very displeased with myself I just can't let anything like that happen to me. I can't go through that. No one is allowed to do that to me because I made that promise to myself and the relationship I have with myself is far more impacting than the one I have with anyone else on this planet.

blunt

2011-07-19T10:29:00.002-07:00

Am I supposed to write advice? Vague feeling towards life? How much i like/dislike the way things are right now? What does it matter ? Makes no difference and is probably beneficial for no one. Writing doesn't keep me sane I guess it's just a way of expressing myself for five minutes. My life is really cool right now and I'm not letting anyone get in the way of that. I'm pretty happy with myself. Not accomplishment wise because there's nothing to show for that. But that's what i'm working on now. I couldn't really do a lot of things and was very unsure about how to do things and wasn't sure about my capability. However, for a while I don't think there's anything I can't do. So I'm going to do it. But fuck it, I don't have a whole lot to say, too busy just being and living.

play

2011-06-29T13:52:00.003-07:00

Sometimes i miss the lack of fighting and problems we had because I know we were both fighting for something. Without that part of my life there is just a lot of confusion as to what is going to happen and what I want, because everything has drastically changed. I know we fought because we cared and both wanted things. I think we tried to tackle life together. Then I realized I need to do that on my own. We were so passionate about things. I just hope both of us can use that passion for other things. Things we need, not a relationship. I hope we find other things to care about. It's weird when your focal point is a person for such a long period of time everything else just isn't important so when you step out of it you see that there is this whole other life that you've been missing for so long. However, that part of my life is long gone and I chose it to be that way. I take it as a learning experience not a regret. I feel like that relationship broke me then made me but for you it made you then broke you. I don't think anyone got the short end of the stick. Things just aren't on hold anymore.

swel

2011-06-22T17:32:00.003-07:00

To new beginnings, to great moments, to growth, to forgiveness. I want it all. Problems settle and problems collapse. I'm going to keep moving forward. I realize the damage I've done and I won't be taking a step backwards anymore. I don't want to be let down and I don't want to let anyone else down. I feel pretty neutral towards a lot of things at the moment but I'm also really hyped about certain things, then there's that part of me that gets scared to be disappointed. I guess you can't be scared to get hurt because sometimes it's unavoidable. You're just going to have to deal with it. The right way, whatever that may be. Schools done. Other things are done too. On to the next thing in life. It is going to be a good summer, I've said that every summer and it never really turned out that way but I'm going to make it that way. I hope I figure out a lot of things during my time off to get me ready for everything that is about to come my way. I have a few ideas on how to execute things I just don't know where to start. I feel really different lately, not bad per say but not amazing. I'm a little confused about a lot of things but I'm so ready for new shit. I'm just really sorry about a lot of things. Sometimes I'm just not happy with who I am, the things I've done. However, I can't really change those things all I can do is prevent them from happening again. I just want forgiveness somehow. But I also want all the things that I deserve that I wasn't getting and I'm not going to settle for anything less. I'm in control.

mercy

2011-05-31T11:45:00.004-07:00

I don't mind cliches, i find the majority of them true. They're cliche because the sayings are old but they're real and relevant. Almost like short and little life lessons to warn you about life. Maybe I should have payed more attention to them that way I could have easily avoided a lot of mistakes that were made. "Once you hit rock bottom, there's no where to go but up". Hopefully it's true. I know things are never going to play out exactly how I want them to be played out but there is a chance for a better life, a happier one perhaps. I realize everything way too late. I screw up intentionally so it seems. I'm not too keen on purpose on life, I no longer believe in fate I think I should just be. Being what? I don't really know but maybe that's the point. You don't have to know anything. I don't mean ignorance, however ignorance is bliss right? Well I don't know a whole lot anymore, but I'm not ignorant and nothing feels blissful. I want to look back on these times and smile and be grateful for however my life has been turning out. I think it'll happen. It's going to be a while though. "It may take a while, but eventually you'll find the "good" in goodbye"

bridges

2011-05-26T22:43:00.003-07:00

Some days are hard, these ones are really hard. I’m hoping its all just a push for something great that's about to happen. All i do is over think everything that is going on in my life right now. A lot of negative stuff, a lot of shitty situations, some bad stuff occurred. I kind of don’t want to talk about it because it already consumes my mind the majority of the day which ultimately ruins every single day. I want to tell you all about someone so beautiful, who’s spirit is just so breath taking? It just seizes to amaze me. I envy it. They’re extremely intelligent in unconventional ways, they never fucking shut up so they’re never boring. The stories they tell me are humerus yet relevant to whatever we’re talking about. They are so absolutely genuine that I forgot people like that exist. I don’t want to scare anyone off by getting them dragged into my problems but it’s nice to have a helping hand. The nonjudgmental aspect is so hard to grasp. It feels okay to be me whether I’m being a ditz or having a melt down. It’s kindness and in the moment / not getting bummed out / finding something else to do when life says ‘no’ to you. A new world is being brought into my eyes and I so desperately want to able to live in it. So accepting, so positive, so new. I need that, its fascinating and it just might solve a few problems. I’m not relying on anyone but it is something to look forward to?

- You all read this crap I write and say nothing, if you want to say something you should. Anything. Tell me about what's going on in your life. Compare/contrast whatever. Vent and let it out.

fleeee

2011-05-14T21:09:00.004-07:00

you grow up thinking one thing but later down the road you find out other things. The lies, the mistakes and the truth. I really don't want to grow up to be anything like these people but this is what I see and this is what I know. Undecided, lost, irresponsible adults who do everything I don't want to take part of. I see their lives and I get scared to death to live mine because I don't want to live if my life ends up remotely like that. There's a lot of resent towards them. Nothing can fix it. I can't erase my memory. It would be slightly disgusting to accept the reality of it all right now. I'm not ready. On to another thing over consuming my mind, everyones fleeing. I have friends going to Queens, York, Mcgill, Emily Carr, Concordia, Ryerson. Good for them. Everyones leaving and moving on with their lives making something of themselves even if they're not sure how to or what to do. Me on the other hand. Absolutely nothing. However, that's what I wanted. Nothing. I didn't want any commitment or any schooling for a while. But it's only because I'm deathly afraid and the most uncertain/lost person in the world. I can't just spontaneously do certain things like move somewhere or something. It's easier said than done. My best friend is leaving too. It's hard because I wish I put in a ton more effort the past year to see her because now she'll be going. I don't know sometimes ... I'm bummed out, its really tough.

hella vibin'

2011-05-01T09:11:00.002-07:00

I kind of have to forget everything I've said in the last post, about the whole being happy and next chapter bullshit. I've spent basically three days crying my eyes out. I didn't think it was possible. I can't control it and I can't stop. Life is unfair being positive is tremendously difficult and I don't want to be here. Nobody is here for me and nobody sticks up for me and everything is absolutely irrational. Send good vibes please.

next chapter

2011-04-28T18:03:00.006-07:00

It's finally over. The 2 year battle of freedom, love and peace. We ended it. We're done fighting for something that should have never happened in the first place. Part of my life isn't on pause anymore, the double life is gone. It's never been my intention to hurt someone but they've hurt me too. A lot of ugly things have happened. I don't regret anything I've done as an outcome but I wish I had let go I a long time ago. I was just too scared of life without and going without. Fortunately I have a beautiful summer waiting for me with many good times to come. I really want a tattoo to represent the past 2 years because it has molded me into who I am right now. I hope that one day life wont have to be this chaotic anymore. I don't want to feel to need to save anyone anymore or be guilted into anything. Nobody saved me, I had to do that myself. Besides not wanting a serious relationship ironically I've found myself a beautiful carefree spirited person. It's a current joy to have this person in my life. I'm so tired of writting whats wrong with my life, I want to be out living it. I've ended the biggest, roughest chapter in my life and now I'm going to create a new amazing one. It's taken so much strength and courage to get to this point but I wish I didn't feel like I was losing my best friend. I'll always care.

I'm so stoked on my 'pocket full of sunshine' .

i blog daily on tumblr ! newbornhippy.tumblr.com

crystal clear

2011-03-07T12:37:00.003-08:00

Trying to do what's best for you is difficult. I stood up finally. I gave up on hoping for things that will never happen. I attempted getting rid of the thing that has been putting me down for so long. There's no longer a need to keep things that only make me unhappy. I was tired of the guilt and the pressure. Don't let anyone ever guilt you or keep you from anything. It's hard to be selfish and do things for myself even though it would hurt someone else so much. One of these days someone is going to have to let me do something for myself. I don't want any strings attached. I simply just want to be. I will never let someone put me down or hurt me. Nobody has the right to do that. I no longer care what other people "deserve". I care about what I WANT and NEED because this is my life and that's exactly what I need to focus on. If you don't make me happy then I don't want you in my life in the first place. Unfortunately it has taken me way too long to make these bold statements and actually take these actions but better late than never. It is slightly devastating to know that I had all this power the entire time and realizing this a year ago could have stopped me from making so many mistakes. I guess it is a learning experience. I'm not scared anymore. Whatever happens, happens. I have a strong mindset to deal with whatever comes at me. I like me, I know me, and I respect me enough to know what's bad and good. No need to lie, no desire to be something I'm not. My happiness comes first. I have so much to offer that I'm definitely not offering. So many things I want to pursue. Now the only thing stopping me is.. me. My life is going to start beginning now. I owe myself so much. No more excuses. Nothing will hold me back.

never been - wiz khlaifa

ship

2011-01-26T00:46:00.006-08:00

maybe one day I won't have to write negative things on here to let it out and try and make myself feel better. With that being said, what do you do when the one thing you love is stopping you from being the person you want to be? Let me rephrase that. What do you do when you're turned into something you're not for someone else's sake? Perhaps one more time... What do you do before you lose who you are completely? I am so lost within myself. I'm not where I want to be in certain areas in my life. I'm not who I really am to certain people. But I'm not a liar. I don't lie. Everyone else does though, and look how miserable they are. I vow to never be miserable based on not being truthful, I better be miserable that isn't to do with truth and lies. I wish that being me and the things I do were somewhat good enough for others. I wish people would see me how I see me. I wish we'd stop going over things that happened so long ago. I wish he'd just embrace me for the person I am today and who I have been for a very long time. I guess I haven't forgiven myself yet either. I used to think that I wanted a fresh start all the time, I thought these 'fresh starts' would fix things, I thought the grass was greener on the other side. For a while now I've just been finding solutions and obsessing over fixing all the wrong and all the issues. I'm not sure which way is the best option. But back to what I was saying at the beginning, I don't know who I am basically. I'm the person you wanted me to become babe, and here i am in all my glory but I'm still not good enough. The empty threats and the delays, the list goes on. Or maybe this is really who I am? Well in that case I'm self-loathing, disappointing and insane and confusing and obsessive. I don't really want to be those things. I'm confident at least. I put a lot of pressure on myself for things, unimportant things but its only for respect factors from others/peers.

look, I can go on and on in depth about how fucked things are right now and how fucked i am. I just needed to write like 1/4 of how I feel right now because well I don't think I really have anyone else to talk to these days. And to whoever else reads this and understands in the slightest or relates just a bit well i congratulate you because I don't even understand.

my tumblr is www.newbornhippy.tumblr.com

new years outfit

2010-12-31T15:32:00.003-08:00

awkward photos, but you get the point very very pink haha, one day ill have photos that aren't from my webcam. nikon hopefully in the near future.

aritzia wilfred cardigan, h&m lace dress, nylons, aldo boots, chanel bag.

have a wonderful new year my beautifuls <3

insecure

2010-12-20T20:02:00.003-08:00

Being lonely is a very dangerous thing to be but now it just seems like it's a choice and a lifestyle at the moment. It's hard to see the truth about the people you love. I wish I didn't know anything. I feel so insecure and it sucks. I wish my mind would just stop for five minutes so I could just catch my breath and relax a little.I guess I should try a lot harder to not feel the way I feel anymore. Anyways, I hope you guys have a very merry christmas. love you

lohann

2010-12-03T16:38:00.000-08:00

She is something else.

struggling

2010-11-16T23:18:00.004-08:00

sometimes you can't do anything about your situation. It's only a matter of time. It's only when things fall into place then they'll get better. Why is everything on hold? When did life become a waiting room. Waiting for the diagnosis, waiting for people to come back for you. 'Timeless' is make believe. We're running out of time. I want things to happen right now. I want to get what I have given back. We all just want to be loved. I want you to feel like like you're about the lose me forever. I want you to feel that now or never feeling. I'm not tired of waiting I just need you now, more than ever. I don't want to hurt myself because of you, I don't want to see it all come to end. The future scares me because I don't know what tomorrow brings because everything has been so much more difficult than it should have been. I take all faults for that however we can't keep living in the past, comparing things to last year. Last year we we're different people. Last year we played with chemicals and fire. This year we play with the hopes and dreams of eachother in which we plan to expand on to grow up and make something of ourselves. I don't want to do it alone, I can't do it by myself. You are such a big part of me. God please help me because love is an understatement about how I feel. This feeling hurts so much I don't want it, I wouldn't wish this on my wort enemy. That breaking point is right now. Letting go isn't an option. The only option is being. Everybody dies but not everyone lives. For seventeen years I have not lived one day yet. You and I both know when that day will be; When we're not on hold.

- It was my birthday this weekend, Im 17. The two most important people to me forgot.

aloe black & wu-tang clan - I need a dollar (bakija remix)

siq

2010-11-09T15:50:00.004-08:00

I guess you can take my absence as a cry for help. I want to be here, I want to write. I'm scared to be honest, to disappoint you all with the disgusting truth and reality of my own life. I don't want anyone to be unhappy but I most certainly am. All over again. I hate writting this. I have zero control over most things. The things I want aren't able to be bought at the mall. The assumptions of the future are all negative. I am so stuck in the hole that I didn't even dig myself. This time it isn't my fault. I had a helping hand from all those 'loved ones'. Thank you 'loved ones' I really appreciate it. I look in the mirror and I see a better person but I see the same person who screwed everything up time and time again. I can't make a choice if my life depended on it. I am nobody. When all I want is to feel like a somebody. I am helpless and hopeless and am just making it by. I am hated and loved by the same people but the biggest enemy is me. I am pretty lost right now and I can't find anything. The only opportunity around is the type that brings me down. Life is basically a lose/lose situation. I need to make it through the last bit of this year and then we'll see what comes next. Happy November to all.

evil deeds- eminem

le fou

2010-09-15T15:44:00.002-07:00

Le fou by wilfred has finally came out. Check the look book! Definitely not disapointing.

http://wilfred.com/runway/le-fou

twitterrr

2010-09-15T15:35:00.002-07:00

re-made my twitter, follow me:

http://twitter.com/newbornhippy

pardon me

2010-08-29T18:18:00.003-07:00

A lot happens in one year. A year goes by fast but a lot happens in that one year. This year for instants; Me. I've been around but I disappeared. Not only from here but in life. I truly lost myself. Got caught up in some other things. Constantly losing my mind, my faith and everything I believe in. Ruining opportunities and chances. Taking things for granted. I truly suck. I don't know how to go about things. I'm not stupid I'm just somewhat reckless. I'm paying for 2 years worth of mistakes. This blog was my whole life at one point. I still adore it and I plan to come back. I don't have any passions really or talent in most aspects but I want to come back. I read some of your e-mails you guys sent me, it got me really stoked about things. As for this summer it went to shit for me. I messed up big time. This is a new school year coming up. I'm graduating. I'm going to do things right. sorry for the disappointments. I hope you all had a good summer. I'm coming back. I'm slightly inspired and have a lot of stuff to say. awww yeeeee :)

nothing to give - white lies

:'(

2010-06-25T18:14:00.000-07:00

Irony, I want to come back. But i can't.

love you.

unholy

2010-05-20T15:57:00.002-07:00

For the love of god, I am so happy to hear new crystal castles. I literally been listening to the album non stop for days. The wait was worth it.

holler

2010-04-29T22:36:00.001-07:00

a token of my appreciation!

bestest ever

2010-04-26T19:34:00.001-07:00

Best picture i've ever came across.

HEY

2010-04-20T20:12:00.001-07:00

so you all probably hate me for the lack of update. but i don't even know what to say. I have a lot going on. Things I'm not even capable of expressing with words. Bullshit right? all i can say is that I'm sorry. There comes a time in life when you question what is really important to you. I have so much anger inside of me. It hurts to breath. I am angry every single minute of the day. I am constantly going outside for air because i simply cant breath inside. Everyday gets a little harder. It's hard to be away. It sucks that past events keep effecting the future, my future, our future. I can't go back, for once I've accepted that. I truly do. I wish i could but I can't. Seems like other people can't though. I'm not a bad person I want the best but I screwed around with my life. I'm too emotional to handle anything dramatic. I was never taught for a healthy way to deal with myself. Then again I don't talk to anyone enough to give them a chance. Everyone seems to disappoint, I'm holding on to one thing only. For the past year almost, Ive been holding on but it keeps almost slipping away. Its my fault. I don't remember what life was like without it. I don't want to remember. Can spring just come already? I'm miserable and uptight and huge bitch. I want to go out and live. I want to come back and blog about great things. I want to inspire again. But this... this is the truth. Guess I'm the only one who chooses to talk about it on here. 'the pretty pink blog with posts about life' this isn't my life in particular. I'm sure some people can relate. Just don't expect a lot out of me. Because I certainly don't. I don't know what I want or like. Everything is up in the air. This post is crazy. I keep jumping from one topic to another. I'm all over the place whatever I just post this now..

cry me a river - jt

fc

2010-03-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

"we should do this again sometime"

j-sun

2010-02-24T21:28:00.002-08:00

why do we make the same mistakes over and over again. As if we didn't learn the first time? We will relive the same situation on repeat if we don't make any sudden changes soon. I don't understand the way we live. Our desire for change is heavily impacted by our mistakes. We take advantage of everything thus occurring the same mistakes. I'm not impressed with us. Not one bit. I'd say it's time for another big change. Possibly a change in environment. Hopefully this plan is better than my last one.

niggas bleed - notorious b.i.g

:(

2010-02-11T16:09:00.001-08:00

R.I.P ALEXANDER MCQUEEN

ask me questions

2010-02-04T16:35:00.003-08:00

looks like we're all going to be burning in hell hahaha ^

You guys can ask me questions anonymously on this site below. Ever had something you really wanted to ask me? Now is your chance! Just don't be rude. I'll reply pretty quickly so check in for answers!

http://www.formspring.me/Babyprostitute

structure

2010-01-31T20:42:00.003-08:00

I think I figured out the meaning of life. Well for me that is, not giving up. You have to try and make things work. Work at it. Fix it. I almost lost the only thing I care about. It hurt. It sucked. Never again. Theres a new found structure in my life. I have a friken job! It's balancing out everything. I figured out the rules to things, I know not to risk everything over bullshit. I finally know whats important to me. I finally care. Caring feels good. You can react on logic or emotion in your life. Smart thing to do is somewhere in between. Have a balance. Everything needs to have balance. It feels amazing to not be down and out. It feels good to have hope. I'm not a major happy camper but this progress is keeping me sane because at one point i was going downhill and fast. My surroundings are better. I'm realizing what's best. I'm still going to have moments of regret but I'll try so hard not to disappoint anyone anymore. I have some stuff to live for. I have LOVE. Sounds stupid but i need it and i have it and it keeps me going when I feel like theres nothing. I have .. everything at the moment.

never too late tree days grace

*photo credit Elle*

wasted youth

2010-01-28T15:35:00.003-08:00

Alright I'm sorry for the lack of update, i had computer privileges taken away from me for a little while. I screwed up a bit. I made some mistakes. I'm just a kid. I wrote a lot of angry things that i wanted to blog about but I don't want the negativity. Now that a lot of the bullshit I've been dealing with is over I can go back to what I love. I'm going to update more. Have more of my own photographs with friends and fashion like when I first started this blog. I think my head is finally starting to be screwed on properly. This blog makes me happy so whyyyyy not update this thing. I'm trying to stop being such a 'delinquent' . I have a few goals now. Small ones but better than nothing. I just want to see myself going somewhere. I don't want to be stuck here forever. I've made up my mind. I know what I want. Threes still a million mistakes that I'm going to make in the meantime but people need to accept it. I'm being punished for minor things sometimes and its hard to handle. It's hard to fight back when all you've been doing is fighting for so long. I learned a lot. 2010 is not really a friend of mine so far. I hope your year has been going a lot better than mine!

youth and vitality - designer drugs

not my best

2010-01-09T22:50:00.000-08:00

New year, fresh start? I guess so. Quite honestly 2009 wasn't so bad. I've had way worse. I have a few resolutions... I don't know if I'll stand by them but I will try. This year is going to be really good, I know it. 5 more months until the summer! Then I start my final year of high school. I met the greatest person in 2009. Without him my year would have been totally different. I learned a lot. I let go of some things. I grew up a bit. Theres still a lot of room for improvement but we'll see. Last year I said a lot of goodbyes to people, things and habits. This year I want to say hello to new people, things and well not habits.. Although the year is off to a decent start it won't last. Doing what I'm doing at the moment isn't so great. Karma will bite me in the ass. Other than that school is a main focus point and I swear to god I am trying to get a job so I can support my addiction to clothing. Anyways I wish all of you a happy new year! Come visit me during the 2010 Olympics because its in myyyy city :) cheers!

get krunk - 3 6 mafia

idc

2009-12-30T13:21:00.001-08:00

Tattoo I want. ONE OF MANY. I don't care.

right here,right now-fatboy slim

intoxicated

2009-12-25T13:12:00.000-08:00

merry christmas from newbornhippy to you !

dec. 14th

2009-12-14T15:53:00.001-08:00

How many secrets can one keep from the most important person to them? I have that person that I tell everything to. Almost everything. I screwed up. Yet again. I'm really tired of screwing up. I hate winter and I hate the holidays and I just want to fast forward to new years so I can focus on some resolutions. I feel like I'm ruining the only thing important to me. Can we honestly get mad over something we had no control over? What's the point? It was stupid and apologizing won't help. I'm not too fond of myself at the moment. Instead of taking steps forward feels like I'm just walking backwards. Is this 2008 again? Sure feels like it. I have no perception of time/date anymore. I'm tired as hell. I can't tell the difference between being awake or sleeping. I need a plane ticket to Toronto please and a time machine. What do I want for Christmas? I want to wake up and accept everything that has happened, move on and rock a smile on my face for 2010. Might be possible. Although things don't work out for people like me. No amount of clothes will make me satisfied at the moment. I need to finally start fixing things and actually finding solutions. Years of bottling it all up don't exactly make me really qualified or experience to do so. Can't even talk to my bestfriend about anything. I try and talk but the words aren't coming out. Fear? maybe. Maybe it's just how things are now. I'm just straight up miserable. I love you.

hatefuck - the bravery

hot bitch

2009-12-12T18:34:00.001-08:00

Gorgeous.

bam bam- sister nancy

I can do it some more

2009-11-29T13:10:00.001-08:00

my favorite type of Mischa .

Hippy4life!

tick tick boom - the hives

no title

2009-11-27T16:32:00.003-08:00

I lost myself a month or so ago . I lost care for things. I lost myself . I still maintain to be respectful and civilized but I'm not exactly normal. If only you could see what's going on in my head you would understand. I've built the past few months on distractions to keep me occupied. I've forgot everything I wanted to become . I stopped dreaming. My mind is blank . I feel somewhat fearless . "It's only when we've lost everything then we're free" . At the moment I'm not satisfied with anything. I've had a theory that it's just a phase or possibly because I don't have anything to look forward to at the moment. I've lost a big part of who I am for some reason. It's almost as if I took a step back from everything and just watched the world fall apart. I'd love to update this blog how I used to with fashion and beautiful people but I honestly see nothing I like anywhere. Or it's the current state of mind that makes me dislike everything . So it may take a while because I don't think this phase is going away any time soon ... I seriously believe I'm somewhat insane possibly?

bad romance - lady gaga

sixteen

2009-11-17T09:55:00.001-08:00

So you might be wondering about my birthday, honestly I am too. I can barely remember a damn thing. I don't have a single memory or picture to share. I apologize if you were looking forward to something for me to show you. I guess on my birthday I learned some valuable lessons. 1. Don't drink on an empty stomach. 2. Never trust a hoe 3. Make sure you call the right restaurant when you make reservations. 4. Stop being stupid . I guess it wasn't that bad, the blurs I remember seemed sort of fun . Maybe my 17th birthday will be better lol .

tik tok - ke$ha

happy birthday isabella!

2009-11-13T20:40:00.004-08:00

So tomorrow is my big day. It's my sweet 16 . I'm going out, going to try and have a memorable night . Being 15 was honestly pretty damn good. A lot better than when I was 14 . 14 was the worst year of my life . 15 sure had it's problems but I started to realize things and smarten up a bit. With that progress I hope 16 is better than 15 . I hope that every year gets a little bit better . Only I can control that, I suppose and I swear to god I'm going to try. Maybe I'll post some pictures of my birthday later on during the week . It's like a new chapter of my life is opening up. To some its not really a big deal but to me it is because I want to do so many things. I want to start believing in things, see the world etc. Here I will give a big thanks to E.G and K.G for making 15 a decent year . Thank you, you have no idea how much I appreciate it. Also thanks to my fellow bloggers and readers because I love this blog and all the people I've met through it.

Happy birthday to me !

bring sally up - moby

kghc

2009-11-04T23:33:00.001-08:00

There comes a time when we can no longer continue to hide. Can't hide what we've done forever. Whether it was a mistake or not something still happened. What I've just wrote sounds complex but It's not . The less people know, the better right? I'm not so sure about that in this case. You see, I've made some mistakes recently and I don't know if I can hide something this intense. I'm good at hiding everything/keeping things from everyone but this is something you can't hide forever . I screwed up big time. I admit that but I wish it didn't have to change anything. "They fought a lot because they were the biggest hypocrites known to man kind, but my god, they loved each other". I hope that's the case for me . I am a huge hypocrite but I can't help it. Everyday I black out for a minute or so . I get an intense flashback about a tragedy that happened . I've come to the conclusion it's because I never get over something or I bottle it up but I also feel like it's nobodies business and nobody deserves to know because I don't like anyone really, I maybe care about 4 people in this world? It's not that I'm selfish because I don't really take care of myself or care about myself that much I just can't put up with most people. I don't give a shit about anything really. I just need to go out and do something fun and take the edge off ....... legally . Suggestions?

no music just silence.

stupid post

2009-10-28T21:37:00.003-07:00

The drama free streak is probably over now. I don't know why this keeps happening to me. The same situations just with different people. Every guy I'm with is the exact same. Just a different face. The same issues and problems. I guess it's my type? I have an ugly past and it's nobodies business but it seems to effect everything still. It's not a matter of moving on or anything because quite honestly I'm over it but other people need to accept it. I come with a lot of baggage. I don't want to be with anyone in that kind of relationship at the moment but it's still okay to fooool arouuuuund . I don't know. Everyone (by everyone I mean a certain person) likes to make a big deal about everything. You can't get mad over things you can't control or things you don't have power over. Relax people. I'm 15 (16 in 2 weeks!) . I've acknowledged my age a few months ago and I act my age. I don't try and be anything else. I'm most certainly not ready for a lot of things and to be honest I don't want to deal with a lot of shit half the time. I just want to go out and do my own thing . Without having to be questioned and overprotected by people who are no longer here. I can handle myself and if not then let me learn. I like doing things on my own. Life isn't a group project .. so leave me alone . Let me fall a few times. Let me get my heart broken. Let me cry. It's a learning experience that I know I can handle. I'm not who I used to be. I'm a lot stronger and less vulnerable and less lost. I just need room to breath and room to grow. Although it's going to be impossible with this extra cautious I have with you . Theres no point of asking questions you already know the answer to. Theres no point of asking questions if you know you won't like the answer. I don't ask because I don't want to know. I'd rather not know than be miserable knowing. No doubt about it I know some horrible things are going to happen. I'm not ready for it but I know it's coming. fml I still don't know how to deal with things but maybe this time will be different. Hold on tight babyyyy its going to be one hell of a ride. *sigh*

shit hits the fan - obie trice ft dr.dre & eminem

nation

2009-10-22T20:26:00.003-07:00

Everything I'm about to say is coming from the tip of my tongue and mind. So bare with me! We are surrounded by numbers . Age, birthday, dates, time, weight, height, EVERYTHING . Sometimes those numbers matter and sometimes they don't. The question is .. Are we going to make those number define us for the rest of our lives? I feel like everything has an "expiry" date. Like when your boyfriend tells you he might be moving to the other side of the country. He just put an expiry date on your relationship. I don't think you're allowed to do that. We are constantly working around these numbers and trying to balance them out and make sense of everything and not disturb the numbers. I don't really know where I stand with these numbers we all live by. I'm not really a fan of numbers and math in general but I do my best not to fuck around with the way things in life are. I just want to live. Without the rush and the "expiry" dates. I don't want to have to wrap my life around times of tragedy and love . I'm not milk, I won't go expired :( . As for Halloween I don't know what im doing or what I'm being.

zombie nation - kernkraft 400

lit

2009-10-17T19:17:00.002-07:00

Some things end but however they begin again. Although some things just end and never start again. We lose stuff that we will never get back . We find things that change our lifes. Theres a factor of taking advantage of things and just throwing it away. Then theres me. I'm an adolescent who doesn't care. Sooner or later I'm going to have to care, actually we are all going to have to care. "The more I care the better work I do, the more work I do, the more I don't care". This is a decent phase. I don't know.. I like it. The less words we speak, the less problems of conflict we have. The lack of emotion increases the chance of less harm. I'm not apathetic just very neutral. It's not the TR33 talking either, it's just me. I'm not confused about anything anymore either simply because I don't care about anything I can't control anymore. So we'll just have to see where this takes me . Round 2, path 100 . Gotta turn around somewhere righhhhht?

dr. dre ft snoop dogg - still dre

keep on running

2009-10-09T19:35:00.004-07:00

Bad news is the worst. Wost part for me is the way I handle it. It's probably my biggest flaw. Although I don't think the people I care about know the effect they have on me. I care for everyone a lot. So much, maybe too much. I worry and I stress out about what they're doing. It's a mystery when they say they've changed their old ways. People rarely change so I don't hold my breath. Love sucks, everything you do effects both 2 people. You and the one who loves you. I don't know what to do anymore. It's gotten to the point where I don't know right from wrong. I just know what I want. What I want is for you to be... safe. I didn't know that was too much to ask. Sad thing is I wouldn't change the past of us because it made some really good times. The bad times are worth it. Just gotta work through it I suppose. I don't want to get use to this. I want a positive change. It's not my job to change people. I thought it was but no, that's their job. I'm backing off now. It's all on you. I'm done with saving people. I need to save myself first. For the first time in a long time I've realized that your problems do not equal my problems. I'll let you do your own thing and we'll see where that leads to ... We'll see where that ends US up. This isn't farewell. Not at all. Maybe a wake up call? I'm not who I was . I'll never be again. Just smarten up and I'll follow your path. I'm always there for you . Always.

"keep on running ... keep on running ... Theres no place like home."

farewell to the fairground - white lies

Talula

2009-10-05T17:12:00.002-07:00

What are we supposed to do? After all that we've been through, when everything that felt so right is wrong now that the love is gone ? There is nothing left to prove, no use to deny this simple truth . Can't find the reason to keep holding on. Now that the love is gone.

Love is Gone - david guetta

september is ending

2009-09-30T21:07:00.007-07:00

I got a camera finally, september has been awesome here's some pictures, obviously more on my facebook but heres my favorites with my favorite people. So what else should I take pictures of? Also I need new music suggestions. Thank you.

snoop dogg - smoke weed everyday

TBL

2009-09-25T11:05:00.002-07:00

Have you guys been watching the beautiful life? Opinions? Personally, I love it but I'm sure you already know why that is. Enjoy your weekend!

no surprises -radiohead

100 nights

2009-09-21T19:04:00.002-07:00

I miss my best friends, I'm having withdrawl and I wish certain people would stop doing what they're doing because I don't want to have to visit certain people in jail. I have a lot of heavy stuff coming up. Talking to a 'trained professional' about my life. I'm not much of a talker and I'm not optimistic. I herd a weird quote today, "the character you are is determined by how much you live in regret" Well in that case I must be amazing because I regret a lot of stuff. Although in some ways my life would probably be so different if what happened didn't happen. Everything happens for a reason right? Destiny and fate are on my mind today. I'm not sure if I believe in it or if it's real or if life is just a coincidence. I'd really like to know if I'm a good person. That's always bothered me. How do you know? I want to be, I sure hope I am. I'd like to think so? Ugh I just want to stop thinking about everything . I want to take a vacation from my own mind. Anybody want to trade for a day? I love you guys though.

la la la - lmfao

mission (not) impossible

2009-09-16T15:38:00.004-07:00

Hey, remember when I was on some hunt for motivation and what not? Well I think I discovered it. Some stuff happened that kind of triggered some inspiration. I have this saying that is totally stuck in my head " Turn your anger/aggression into passion and turn that passion into ambition" It's kind of cliche I know, but I'm trying to live by it. Sometimes you get those times in life where you feel sort of "stuck" I guess you can say and it makes you think a lot. Comparing yourself to other people and looking down on yourself. I'm just glad it's over. I feel somewhat more confident in general because I feel like there is certain paths I can take now and I just know that I can survive whatever life throws at me. No more avoiding and hiding and being reckless. I think I'm growing up.

zombie - pretty reckless

the sky is the limit

2009-09-14T16:43:00.003-07:00

I'm in my first official week of school. I already have a few tests coming up but I think I can get it covered. This is a good month. It's full of fresh starts and new opportunities. Everything that happened over the summer doesn't really matter anymore . We are all kinda back to 'normal' in our place ready for our daily schedules. As for the recent negative comments, I don't quite understand what your doing on my site if you don't like me. If you have personal issues with me well that's kinda awkward because I'm currently not involved with any sort of drama . And if you don't know me at all and just hate my blog then that's more sad then me blogging everyday.

forgive me - crew 1

2009-09-13T18:16:00.002-07:00

I don't care what you say. In my opinion she pulls it off. Also the chain smoker voice is pulled off pretty well by her. I know shes an egotistical arrogant little girl but whatever. She looks kinda cool as a hot mess. Gossip Girl tomorrow. Can't wait!

fuel - metallica

holla

2009-09-13T11:03:00.002-07:00

Alright so now that the photos are fixed, I can go back to blogging. Hopefully that won't happen again. Also while I had some time off of blogging I had time to brainstorm some new ideas for this this site and I'm working on a few projects as well. So subscribe and all . Stay tuned.

sweet dreams - marylin manson

she did it again

2009-09-05T19:22:00.007-07:00

I might over post about her these days but not gonna lie, I like what she wears a lot these days. Also I'm really excited for Gossip Girl to start again. I miss it.

seek and destroy - metallica \m/

I provide.

2009-09-03T17:45:00.002-07:00

" You can look all over but you'll never find hot shit like mine. I blow your mind"

This month has been intense, but all around good. I've been clean one month. I am satisfied somewhat with my life. Toronto was very overwhelming. Being around family was an odd thing for me . I don't exactly know where I want to be. Here or there? I guess I don't care anymore. Where you live doesn't make who you are. You are who you are no matter where you live and just because you move across the country doesn't mean your problems and past go away. I think the healing process of tragedy makes us who we are. How we react and deal with situations make us grow into the people who we're supposed to be. Although I know truthfully I am extremely screwed up but doesn't mean I'm not loved. All I can do for now is wait. Wait until things fall into place. So until then I'll just be me... whatever that means. I missed you guys. Glad to be 'Home'.

dat new new - kid kudi (VIKING REMIX)

Wildfox

2009-09-01T11:44:00.002-07:00

grease is the word - frankie valli

VACATION HOMMIES

2009-08-14T18:14:00.002-07:00

TORONTO

-August 14th to August 23rd

motivation

2009-08-06T14:28:00.003-07:00

I'm supposed to be getting a tattoo this month. A cross on my left wrist. Meaning? Motivation and remembering someone. Almost like a token of respect. I could really use some motivation these days. I have almost none, to do better or to achieve I just feel as if I have forgotten how to be motivated. I need inspiration and drive but I'm stuck at the moment. Waiting for something to light up a spark. I kind of want to write a book but I need some motivation of course. Summer is officially half way done I have done nothing productive what so ever . I'm just lost. Really, REALLY lost.

a message - coldplay

daddy long legs

2009-08-04T18:30:00.002-07:00

She is really growing on me. Those legs....

frontload - freezepop (designer drugs)

c0ps

2009-08-03T12:09:00.003-07:00

Sorry, Pardon, Scusa, Oprostite, Undskyld, Anteeksi, Maaf, gomen nasai, Piedod, Beklager, Desculpe, Pardón, Pele, Sairy, Przepraszam, Pakawan, Fertrüt me, Förlåt, Ndineurombo.

I'm sorry, in every possible form. In any language, it all means the same, I still feel the same.

anthonio - annie (designer drugs remix)

marijuana treated brain

2009-07-30T13:32:00.002-07:00

I really dislike how people think they know someone after a first impression, or just by hanging out a few times. 'Oh my god she seems like a sweet girl, I had no idea she was that way' Yeah... Well know you know. I am somewhat nice but to some I am 'bad' and I plan to spend the rest of the summer acting my age and being 'good'. I understand I need to change my lifestyle a bit to refill the hole I've dug myself this past year but it's not easy. I just need a reason to care for something. I honestly care about pretty much nothing, which is sad because it doesn't feel like I'm living my life if I don't have a care in the world. I'm home, I'm safe. I need to focus on better shit then I have been this summer. In about 2 weeks I'm going to Toronto! I need this vacation so badly. I'm stoked. Talk to you later. Be happy.

help I'm alive - metric

disapointment

2009-07-26T19:35:00.001-07:00

I'm lost, I don't know where I am, where I'm going or what I'm doing.

she fell out - crystal castles

greasy

2009-07-23T19:43:00.004-07:00

Oh hey look who made an apperence on the cobrasnake if you didnt notice. Dope.

check out www.popexcess.com

another night another dream - Real Mc Coy

bunny

2009-07-21T15:49:00.003-07:00

It's so bloody hot I can barely type this without complaining about this weather. I'm weak. I can't handle this! I just wanted to share that I have the greatest best friend in the world. Emily. Today she said she had a surprise for me (I hate surprises) but we went to the pet store and she was about to buy me a bunny! I've always wanted one so bad! Anyways... We went to go pay for it and the manager wouldn't let us buy it unless we own the place the bunny will be staying at. A.K.A we aren't old enough to buy bunnies . On another note, I'm kind of fed up with my hair, I don't know what to do with it hmmm... hmmm...

In this post make a shout out to your best friend(s) in the world!

dolls - crystal castles

in my head

2009-07-18T23:47:00.003-07:00

Sorry I've been really tired and uninspired lately. I'm trying to figure out shit. Look for patterns, read between the lines, follow the different paths all in hopes of understanding . I'm trying to find out what I want and how I'm going to get it. In the meantime I'm in the process of waiting for something I want really badly. I wish I didn't wonder so much. If I've ever learned anything in my 15 years of this life, it's that the more you don't know, the better of you are. Think about it. I'd rather not know the truth about something then not know at all and have it not affect my life. This is why most naive people are happy. 'Nothing lasts forever' that sentence has been stuck in my head all week. I guess literally its true. When you're dead everything stops, the love and everything you had going for you. So when someone says that they'll love you forever... They lied because nothing is forever. I'm negative as hell and if you don't like negativity well I'm (kinda) sorry. I'm just honest. It's better if you know now then later on.

beautiful- Akon

blackandwhite.

2009-07-12T21:05:00.004-07:00

New pictures of Willa Holland from TFS. Such a stunner. So this summer isn't exactly what I'd hope it would be but I'll survive. Every time my hopes are up or I'm looking forward to something, it changes. My past keeps coming back to haunt me. So, my advice to everybody is : Don't ever look have high expectations. Then everything should just be friken' marvelous.

in for the kill - la roux

hey it's me

2009-07-09T15:33:00.003-07:00

So, that's me. Picking out what to wear tomorrow. Nothing special . Alexander McQueen scarf worn as a shirt. Kind of weird? Looks sort of cute I guess. I think I might possibly post webcam quality outfits of mine until I get a new Nikon. Although I'm not sure ?

so fine - sean paul

5:08pm

2009-07-07T17:04:00.003-07:00

Taylor has new hair. I don't care for this girl but I liked the pictures. Her hair looks good short and long. Regardless still pretty. Notice the push up bra? lol

drugs in my body - designer drugs

DK

2009-07-05T14:08:00.003-07:00

You made me who I am today. You are the person who had the most impact on my life unfortunately. Past three years have been insane and you took a big part in those experiences. I've never wrote about you because it's hard to remember because you're a regret. You helped me through the tough times but they wouldn't have happened if you didn't do the things you did. It's my fault for never letting go . I was the only person there for you 100%. I would have done absolutely anything for you because I cared. I don't and I swear to god, I will NOT put myself through that again. You broke me down. Made me pick up all the pieces time after time. It never got old. Same situations with bigger consequences to risk. You we're just one big risk. Being friends wasn't enough but I can't imagine what my life would have been if you weren't there. It's been a year without you but I don't think we can go back to the way things used to be. It's too late. I'm glad you finally grew up and caught up to me but I don't think I could handle hanging out and what not. Every bone in my body says to keep it neutral. I have so much leverage proving to me things would go horribly wrong again. People change? sometimes. I know I certainly did. Although people like you never change. You weren't there for me when I needed you most. When things got tough you picked up and left. I didn't understand then and I still don't now. I want to see you but if that means sacrificing everything I try not be anymore...not sure if you're worth it. You only care about yourself and you only want me when I'm not there anymore. Maybe this is just a bad idea. I got a good thing going for me right now. Don't invade it and ruin it. I'm still weak enough to make bad choices. Please don't take advantage of that.

are you worth it?

new divide - linkin park

guess who!

2009-07-04T13:36:00.004-07:00

A few of my favorite outfits of Mischa from the past 2 weeks or so. She seems like she's busy. Promoting her new tv show for the fall and what not. I seriously don't understand how someone can be THAT gorgeous. I want to hang her on my wall and just stare at her like she is art (LOL). Enjoy your weekend kids. And when I say 'stay out of trouble' I really mean it.

go dj- lil wayne

lohan

2009-07-02T19:23:00.003-07:00

Lindsay is my girl crush. I know she's a dirty coke whore or something but she is pretty hot. Red hair decent fashion sense and bad reputation. HOT. I think me and her would be pretty good friends to be honest. I just love her natural hair and freckles though.

known

2009-06-30T14:22:00.002-07:00

Weirdest thing just happened. My friend was telling me about this blog she was reading a little while ago and she just found out it was mine. I don't really go walking around telling everyone I have a blog so I guess I can see how that happened. I'm not busy at all these days. I don't go out often and when I do it's not for long. I feel myself pulling away from everyone. I don't know if it's good or not but it's really strange. I need to shut up and blog more about fashion. I will, I promise!

hunting for witches - bloc party (crystal castles remix)

Stay Gold

2009-06-28T11:47:00.003-07:00

I don't know where to start. This week has felt like months. I did a lot of wrong stuff this week. Slowly I'm recovering but fortunately I am learning from it. This week has probably been one of the hardest weeks in a long time but it's over. It's all over now. I think for a while I'm just going to chill out a bit. Stay out of trouble and change some personal things/habits. Instead of trying to better myself I made everything worse. I am an avoider. I avoid things I can't handle . In this case it was with substances. I felt like nothing mattered. I didn't care about anything because I didn't have anything to loose. Although I did loose myself and my morals and everything I am usually against. Maybe I'll be grateful for what happened because of what I learned but I never want to go through that again. I also missed my blog terribly. I'm not usually someone to apologize because I'm stubborn but I was thinking of scenarios where what if the last thing you said to someone was something hurtful and you would never be able to talk to them again because an unfortunate event? I just don't want to live with something like that. So I'm taking it one day at a time. Trying to get my head on straight. Sorry for the disappointment. Stay gold .

tape song - the kills

FML

2009-06-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

GROUNDED

newbornhippy.com is closed until further notice.

I'm sorry.

90's child

2009-06-19T00:13:00.002-07:00

I was born in the 90's well..1993 to be exact. I really wish i was born earlier so that I could be a teenager in the 90's. It's probably my favorite decade (besides the 70's of coarse). Life just seemed awesome in that decade. The fashion too. The grunge and the acid wash and all that stuff. I adore it. I'm really glad it's coming back in style. 90's child pride!

Enjoy your weekend kids.

what ever happened - the strokes

i gotta feeling

2009-06-17T11:53:00.002-07:00

I think finally it might be okay to let someone in ? Well I have someone in mind. About an hour ago I had my last exam. Officially NO MORE SCHOOL. I'm so stoked right now like you don't even understand. I can't stop smiling. I don't know why I'm so happy but whatever this is awesome. I have barely eaten all week. I need some food. I've been so stressed and now its all over. I feel like I can breath again. Just so you know... The more comments you guys make ... the more often I'd post. So it's up to you guys. When I see little to no comments makes me not want to blog. That's why things have been slow lately.

i gotta feeling -BEP

who are you?

2009-06-13T13:19:00.002-07:00

103 followers on blog lovin'

89 followers on blogspot

98 followers on twitter

countless anonymous people

Introduce yourself to me in this post =)

I wanna see all of you!

*not making a new post until at least 50 people introduce themself*

Pride

2009-06-09T18:44:00.003-07:00

Ugh I'm honestly so ASDFGHJK feeling right now. I don't understand whats with people and their pride. I know that you might have a lot of pride in yourself and it refrains you from doing certain things for respect factors in yourself but when it's preventing you from doing things you should be doing theres a problem. When it makes you run from all your problems and not face them because you got too much pride to admit you're wrong well thats just bullshit. Swallow your pride. Please. For those who have to put up with you and those you want to help you make some effort. Can anyone relate? I mean, I have a lot of pride but I don't let it get in the way of my life. Anyways, I'm so excited for the weekend. School this week is bullshit.

"I turn my head to the eastI don't see nobody by my sideI turn my head to the westStill nobody in sightSo I turn my head to the north, Swallow that pillThat they call prideThe old me is dead and gone"

Dead and gone - T.I

twenty-seven names lookbook

2009-06-05T17:26:00.002-07:00

New Zealand based brand Twenty-Seven Names is amazing. Pictures from their lookbook and its very 'me' . I wish I could get my hand on a few pieces because they have some very awesome hippy items. Enjoy your weekend & stay out of trouble!

Robot Rock - Daft Punk

high

2009-06-03T20:30:00.004-07:00

I'm sweating as I post this, its way too hot. Less then 10 days left of school I'm so stoked. I have a latest obsession with loose fitting flowy tank tops from Urban Outfitters. I really need to buy some more. I can't believe this school year is over. Feels like I just transfered yesterday. Time flys and I feel myself growing up and maturing more than I'm used to. Everything is going by so quick I just want to stop and enjoy the moments sometimes. I can't even begin to tell you whats going on with my 'boy' life but its absolutely crazy and its driving ME crazy. My mind is all over the place right now I think I just told you guys like 4 irrelevant facts in this post. I'm very sorry but I feel a natural high flowing through my body at the moment so I'm just going to flow with it . Also as stupid as this sounds. If anyone in Vancouver loves me and wants to hire me. Hook me up . I need money now! Also I'm debating to tan or not? Stay kinda pale or get bronzy? Get back to me. Would it be weird if I said something like " Peace & Love & Smoke weed" ?

crystal castles hipster trash music :(

You belong with me.

2009-06-01T20:45:00.002-07:00

Sorry my posts lately have been seriously lacking. I got a lot going on and I need some inspiration. Anyways, Willa is looking gorgeous as usual. It's so flippin' hot here. I don't know if I like it or not. It's just soo hot maybe too hot even? Ugh I'm so gross and sweaty haha. Enjoy the song below. I can't stop listening to it!

nylons and tights

2009-05-30T20:43:00.004-07:00

I'm such a fan of nylons and tights. From basic black to tie dye. I have a few pairs that I wear a lot. Unfortunately it's way too hot for them. I liked this photos from the cobrasnake, they're cute. I always go through so many of them because I rip them or something haha . Do you guys like them?

my darling - eminem

swed

2009-05-28T11:49:00.001-07:00

Another long weekend ! Beach maybe? Who knows. I've been under some stress, finishing up the last few weeks of school trying to get the grades up and the moving situation. Talking to people these days I've noticed things aren't going so well. A lot of people are feeling like me how I was last year. I really enjoy seeing the people around me happy and it's hard to see people when they're not. For the most part I can't do anything because I already do as much as I possibly can but it still bothers me. All I can say is during your down times LIFE DOES GET BETTER. Not instantly but after a while. I never thought I'd be somewhat happy again but I'm well on my way. Surround yourself with good people and if you don't have those well then, you can always e-mail me and I'll stir up a good conversation. I can only help others but not myself. So when you're all happy, I am too. I'm going to do a little iternal clean up this weekend. Such as attempt to cut down on swearing and "habbits". Swearing is somewhat unattractive ? Yeah I think so. Don't do meth children and have a good weekend :) (im in such a great mood haha)

take me on the floor - the veronicas (ew)

i <3 k

2009-05-25T16:58:00.002-07:00

Pretty much in love with this picture. It might make a nice banner yes/no? My father is home from his little vacation and surprisingly moving to Toronto is actually a really big possible option. My best friend is going to flip shit when I tell her . The next few months are going to be crazier than usual . My anxiety has come back again. It's kind of scaring me. I don't know what triggered it but I'd really like it if it would just go away. I'm so scared about breaking down in a public place! My friend gave me a Joy Division book this weekend! It's really interesting so far, it's called "Joy Division Piece by Piece" check it out if you have a chance. Have a happy Monday !

home?

2009-05-21T22:26:00.002-07:00

In regards to someone telling me and asking if I'm suicidal, I'm not. Honestly my life isn't so bad at the moment. 2009 has been a decent somewhat drama free year. I'm going to school and doing well. I have good friends and so on. I've been through a lot worse and horrible months after months and that being said I now appreciate the slightest amount of happiness at any giving time. Today I feel like talking about moving. I was born in Toronto and moved to Vancouver within a 1 year of age. I want to go back. I want to live life there and not here. Fresh start and surrounded by family sounds ideal. It's been a table conversation with my parents for a while so until then I'll cross my fingers. Vancouver is a really interesting city. It just really depends what you're feeling. I hate the rain its so bloody depressing but I love the vibe. I love the vintage stores and I like to make fun of the stupid hipsters downtown. It's a growing city with much to offer but it's not exactly the place for me. So much crap has happened with me here. An unspeakable death the growing transitions that made me so weak and the people who I've ruined.I am constantly reminded by these faults. It's time to go. I'll only miss like 10 people max. It's hard to pick up and go but all I want to do it leave. Vancouver, you've been a bitch and you've been my worst nightmare and your rain are my tears that evaporated. I hate what you've done. Here I am blaming everything on a stupid city. I am so screwed up haha. Bottom line is, it's just not "Home".

The Hood Internet - Magic Haters (Maino vs Crystal Castles)

Pretty Reckless

2009-05-19T22:55:00.003-07:00

Photos from Taylor Momsen's band Pretty Reckless. In all honesty I kinda like her band and their few songs. Search them on YouTube or something. Their first song is " I really F****** love you" . Crazy week and I miss my daddy (lol) .

I care.

2009-05-17T10:38:00.002-07:00

Pictures above include the lovely Willa Holland being photographed in her bedroom. I've realized a little bit of part of the problems in my life. It's the "I don't give a fuck" attitude. Honestly nothing is really that important to me, hence I don't care about much. I don't care about myself, school, some family members, work. Nothing at all. Something always happens to the things or people I care about so this why I just save myself . This way I just save myself the trouble so any sort of hurt feelings are avoided. Probably not very human like to do so but people have left me with no choice. This weekend was really bad and next week I'm stuck alone with my mother for an entire 7 days. This is HELL!

the party - uffie

secrets

2009-05-12T00:46:00.004-07:00

I know what my last post was very strange, I'm sorry and I will not do that again. A topic that just popped in my head was secrets and how they play a major role in my life. I have a lot of secrets. I'm not sure if it's because I hide who I am or because I don't trust anyone. It's probably both. Some of the secrets I have are eating me up inside, not sure what to do about that. I think that having less secrets would possibly help me get on the steady road to happiness although its just a theory. Am I supposed to open my window and tell the world? I have no idea how to fix this. I have no choice but to live with most of these secrets seeing as how the majority of them are related to other peoples life as well. The truth is I'd rather not know something and be happy then know the truth and be unhappy. Truth sucks half the time and I'd rather be more naive towards it but by being human we have this weird tendency to want to know absolutely everything. From now on I really have no desire to know stuff. What I know is horrible. I don't want to know more horrible things. I will continue to keep everything inside because it's just the way I am but I can't do it forever, it's just not healthy. I've done a lot of useless crap and I just want to make up for it. Pretty much everything I do is always a secret .I think it's time to be honest and free.

Picture from : Wanting to Kill

smella bella

2009-05-10T16:07:00.003-07:00

My hair is a mess, I smell really bad and I'm dirty. My room is honestly disgusting looking right now and a threw up all over the washroom yesterday. I also smell weed but I don't know where its coming from. Sorry for the lack of update it's been a really bad weekend but I do need a favor from all of you. I need to to pick something from me. Although I can't tell you what it is I'm sure you can guess.

choice number one = D

choice number two = K

choice number three = G

In your comments pick one of the following choices. Thank you it would really help me out.

aritzia lookbook

2009-05-07T11:59:00.002-07:00

Summer 2009 inspiration.

mathmatics - little boots

waiting.

2009-05-04T11:41:00.002-07:00

I really can't stop thinking about how much we wait for things in life. We wait to get our drivers licence, we wait to get married and we wait to have children. If someone told you to wait for them would you? Every time that we are done waiting for something it seems like we go through the entire process and have to wait for something else all over again. I'm tired of waiting for what/who I want. It's not fair to always have to wait. I'm running out of time. I no longer want to wait for we to become "us" or me and you to become referred to as "them". It makes sense, just think about it. Also did you know that they are filming twilight in my back yard pretty much? Crazy. Although no sight of Rob Pattinson just the other cast unfortunately.

ganja bus - cypress hill

cutes

2009-05-02T20:42:00.003-07:00

Hopefully everyone is enjoying their weekend? I am. All I'm doing is shopping and jammin to designer drugs. So fun. I'm super sick too. It's not swine flu though haha. Nothing interesting to tell you about my life except that I've been hanging with a new group of friends. Change is needed. I'm not usually fond with new people but this seems to be going alright. The only problem is that I've started some old habits again. Hopefully those end soon.

countdown (designer drugs remix)

ride your bike!

2009-04-29T17:06:00.002-07:00

Since the sun is coming out more and more each day I'm sure you would all like this new hobby, Bikes! I got mine last year and I love it to death. It's fun and great exercise. Not to mention I see a lot of celebrities doing it too. You can put a little friggin' basket in the front too. Get outside and ride your bike. It's honestly so fun.

sister ray - joy division

sum sum summa

2009-04-28T11:31:00.004-07:00

Summer 2009 is going to be sick.

Cake

2009-04-26T19:26:00.004-07:00

Firstly I'd like to thank Shannon for the amazing new banner that she made me. Moving on.. I'm not going to pretend like It doesn't bother me because it does. I just thought that everything was going to work out this time. I don't know if they're fucking with my head but It just sucks. Everything now just sucks. This summer is going to be so complicated now because of it. I'm always so scared of going down this road because I was once on this same road for three years. I think I'll just back out and turn around while I still can. History repeats itself with me. I constantly meet the same people but with different faces. Everyone is just the same. I'm attracted to the people with the same problems and issues. I don't want to be around anybody. I don't like anybody, I don't like talking about stuff . I'm just so sick and tired of stupid stuff that could be prevented but it's not because everything is so uncontrollable. I don't even know what I'm writing anymore but think about this expression : "You can't have your cake and eat it too" . What the hell? Why can't I eat my cake? Am I on a diet? NO! Give me the cake.

candy - snoopp dogg

belly tops

2009-04-23T16:51:00.002-07:00

Mischa Barton in a belly top. I've seen the belly shirts appearing a lot lately. I kind of like it . I remember in elementary school I used to always tie up my shirt and try and show off my belly button like Britney Spears or something haha. What do you guys think?

streets of paris - the teenagers

One last time

2009-04-21T17:27:00.003-07:00

I really wished I lived in the states so I could have gone to Coachella (music festival). Seems like I'm scaring my friends. It's really not my intention but I guess I'm going to slow things down for a while. This weekend is crucial and important. One last time. After this weekend I won't do anything ever again. Take your guess at what I'm talking about but you're probably wrong. I've always been hurt by someone but I told myself I would never hurt someone like how they've hurt me. All I can say is sorry. One last time. Trust me. Believe in me and let me take care of things. I'm done saving people.